Prank #67: Something for nothing

#67. Something for nothing – Ω

TELEMARKETER: “Hello, how would you like 6 nights in Bali, the middle pearl of the island necklace in the Java Sea, for only $69 per person?”

Nicola Albertini: flickr

ME: “Does your offer come with a free set of steak knives?”

TELEMARKETER: “Steak knives! No but—”

ME: “Oh dear, without a free set of steak knives I am sorry, but I’m just not interested,” and hang up.

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6 Responses to Prank #67: Something for nothing

  1. philebersole says:

    My friend Bill sometimes responded to telemarketers by trying to sell them a (nonexistent) course in how to improve their skills as a telemarketer. When they seemed at the point of trying to break off the call, he would ask to speak to their supervisor about the (nonexistent) course.

  2. Jimmy Aring says:

    Hi Christina
    Here is another one, (I recently got a plaster cast from a broken foot) though I have not tried it out yet.
    Thanks for watching,
    Cheers Jimmy
    #??. Is pranking a crutch?

    Prop: You don’t need a pair of crutches, but if you have a set – the clip-clop echo adds a nice, authentic touch.
    TELEMARKETER: “Hello, Mrs Cedi would you be surprised if you didn’t have the best mobile phone rates available?”
    YOU: “Hello Jenny speaking.”
    TELEMARKETER: “Hi Mrs Cedi. We’ve chosen you to enjoy our—”
    YOU: Interrupt them with, “If you don’t mind I’m on crutches with a broken leg, so I need to sit down. Give me half a minute, I won’t be long.”
    TELEMARKETER: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that Mrs Cedi. I’ll wait.”
    YOU: “Thanks.” Put the phone in a shirt pocket and make rhythmic grunting noises as you make your way to somewhere comfortable. Then when you’re settled exclaim, “Shit! Arr, hold on I’ve dropped the phone in the lounge… Can you hear me? [Then a little silence on your part] Come on, where is the darn thing [more silence for a while, then loudly]. Excuse me. The phone’s fallen out of my pocket. I’ve dropped the phone and can’t find it amongst the cushions. Can you hear me? I’m looking for the phone [more silence while you’re supposedly searching]. Oh, this is so annoying. [Then yell for help] Jim, Jim, can you help me find the phone. I’ve dropped it in the lounge and can’t find it. Someone’s on the line waiting for me… Jim. [More silence and then shout] Doesn’t matter Jim. I see it, if I can just reach it. [Grunt with exertion.] Arrrh,” and then hit the disconnect key, as if you’ve accidently pressed it while picking the handset up.

    Extra: If they ring back, tell them, “I can’t take the call now, as my leg is aching too much after scrounging through the lounge for the phone. Call another day please.” Then hang up.

  3. Stitching up those annoying teatime sales people Jimmy. Give me more ! Your methods of dealing with the scavengers are both hillarious and practical. Well done !

  4. Jimmy Aring says:

    Glad you liked them Amber as all I want is for you to have a laugh, and thanks for leaving a reply. I reckon there’s no harm in a little fun with unwanted calls. At least I feel in control and not flustered afterwards. Heck, even sometimes the telemarketers laugh with me.
    Cheers Jimmy

  5. Amber says:

    Haha!!!! These are great! Love it!!!!

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