Telemarketing Euphemisms

Want to be a telemarketer? Then here are the ‘Required Skills for Telemarketing’ that make for a good telemarketer, as stated on one website.

Aunty P: flickr

To be honest, I suggest that these skills are

euphemisms (substituted and inoffensive or

indirect expressions) for what is really meant

(suggested by me in italics). I’ve left some of the

rebuttals blank  for your barbs and welcome  alternatives to mine. Cheers Jimmy.

 Verbal Communication Skills

Well spoken:

  • Can assemble more than five words of intelligible English in a single sentence

Clear voice:

  • .

High volume:

  • .

Good use of tone:

  • Can express a high pitched, squeaky voice that irritates the prospect enough for him or her to buy the product just to get the telepest off the phone

Know how to build rapport: 

  • Willingness to lie and tell the prospects that you care
  • Willingness to date prospects to clinch a sale

The Right Attitude

Social/ enjoys speaking to people:

  • Deafness is not a hindrance to employment 


  • Will not take ‘no’ for an answer


  • Sell or be sacked

Happy disposition:

  • Be pleasant despite long hours, low pay and constant abuse from prospects and frustrated supervisors

Not easily upset:

  • Restrain from swearing, making threats, and hanging up on prospects too often

Energetic/ vibrant:

  • Willingness to repeatedly call the same resident at ungodly times

Results oriented:

  • Will coerce, sell or scam at any cost for the telemarketing emperor

 Great Listening skills

Ask the right questions:

  • As per the script

Really hear and take note of the client’s individual need:

  • .

Work well in a (call centre) team

Follow direction:

  • Don’t think; remember the slogan, “I am a robot, I am a machine.”

Use company scripts:

  • .

Follow the Telemarketing rules:

  • Willingness to sell your soul

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