#36. Is anybody out there? – ΩΩΩ
Prop: It might help to set your phone volume to low or have an earplug on standby (or simply stick a finger in your receiving ear).
TELEMARKETER: “Hello, would you be surprised if you didn’t have the best mobile phone rates available?”
ME: “Hello Marka speaking.”
TELEMARKETER: “Hi Marka, we’ve chosen you to enjoy our—”
ME: “Hello is anybody there?”
TELEMARKETER: “Yes, you’ve been chosen to …”
ME: “Can you speak up please; we must have a bad line.”
TELEMARKETER: Louder, “Can you hear me now?”
ME: “Is anybody there? If this is a joke, it’s not very funny…” and so on. Try not to laugh before you hang up.
TELEMARKETER: “Congratulations, we’ve chosen you to enjoy our—”
ME: “You’ll have to speak up; I lost my hearing aid.”
TELEMARKETER: Louder, “Yes, you’ve been chosen to—”
ME: “Is that you Maude? I can’t hear you. Have you got your hearing aid in? Maude, is that you? Maude, go and get your hearing aid, you can’t hear me…,”
TELEMARKETER: Louder still, “Can you hear me now?”
ME: “Maude, I can’t hear a thing. Can you hear me? Maude if you’ve got a spare hearing aid can you bring one over? I’ve misplaced mine.” and so on.
Key: If the telemarketer is distracting you, hold the phone away from your ear. Enjoy picturing or hearing the telemarketer striving to be heard while answering your queries.