About tormenting telepests

chief Crazy Ear
If you ask my teenagers they say I’m crazy, but I say I’m a bloke tired of reacting to telemarketing calls with frustration, annoyance and a death wish. Telepests are the plague of the 20-21st century; they are the ones casting a shadow of blight over my evenings, and yet ironically; I am the one left agitated with how I mishandled the call.

paradise lost 
Here in Oz we’ve had a Do Not Call Register since 2007; however, there are statistics which show that as little as 30% of telenuisance calls are stopped as a result of the Register. Telemarketing calls are here to stay indefinitely and, as we know, not easy to avoid altogether. If paradise is a phone network where telemarketing has been exterminated, I live on a neighbouring island called Utopia where telemarketing is in the red and where pranksters jolly with cold-calls for amusement.

“bring it!”
I’ve taken the matter into my own hand and through legerdemain, espionage and skullduggery, devised and adapted 87 prank replies. These have given me back control of the home phone and some laughs for my trouble. I now accept that cold-callers are a part of our capitalist society and, to the astonishment of my therapist, even welcome some calls. Especially when I’ve got a new prank to experiment with.

extreme couch potato
A casual observer could say that I’m a family man with three children and a 9-5 job working with people in addiction. What’s less known is that I’m a zealot of parkour, base jumping, white-water kayaking, caving, and competing in the Isle of Man TT Races (in my dreams that is), and dabbling in pranking, reading, writing, camping and spectator sports when awake.

Welcome to my blog on pranking telepests.

Cheers Jimmy


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