Tag Archives: Humor

Prank #25: Hang ups

#25. Hang ups – Ω TELEMARKETER: “Hello Mrs. Dong, we are affiliated with Macrohard Technologies; and in monitoring the internet it has come to our attention that your computer has a number of errors which makes it prone to attack … Continue reading

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Video: hilarious satire of cold-calling Indian pitching a two-bit, tinhorn, half-pie, end-of-the-pier, strictly-for-the-birds script.

Satirical video of typical, trashy telemarketing operation in India. Worth a laugh (3:41 minutes).

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Prank #15: Edentate (toothless) tiger

#15. Edentate (toothless) tiger – ΩΩ TELEMARKETER: “Hello, my name is Sally/Sid from Stellar—” ME: Interrupt forcefully emphasising the telemarketer’s name. “Sally, Sally, how many times do I have to tell you Sally? I don’t know where you left your dentures, … Continue reading

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Prank #61: Random quotes

#61. Random quotes – ΩΩ Prop:   Have a wad of witty quotes prepared.[i] TELEMARKETER: “Hello, how would you and a friend like 7 winter nights in tropical Bali for only $99 per person?” ME: “The early bird gets the worm, but … Continue reading

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Prank #12: Competitors’ prices request

#12. Competitors’ prices – ΩΩ TELEMARKETER: “Good evening sir. My name is Charles of Stiff & Berry Funeral Homes. I would like only a few minutes to broach the subject of a low-cost funeral plan…” ME: Ask for the cost of … Continue reading

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Telemarketing Euphemisms

Want to be a telemarketer? Then here are the ‘Required Skills for Telemarketing’ that make for a good telemarketer, as stated on one website. Aunty P: flickr To be honest, I suggest that these skills are euphemisms (substituted and inoffensive or indirect … Continue reading

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Prank #33: “How many ways to say ‘No'”

#33. How many ways to say ‘NO’ – ΩΩ  Prop:   Have a list of Noes in other languages prepared.[1] TELEMARKETER: “Hello, is that Mr. Lats speaking?” ME: “Mr Lats yeh.” TELEMARKETER: “Mr. Lats we’ve chosen you to enjoy our …” … Continue reading

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Prank #67: Something for nothing

#67. Something for nothing – Ω TELEMARKETER: “Hello, how would you like 6 nights in Bali, the middle pearl of the island necklace in the Java Sea, for only $69 per person?” ME: “Does your offer come with a free … Continue reading

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Prank #9: Chip chomping – updated older post

#9. Chip chomping – ΩΩ Prop:    A packet of chips or crackers. (A clothes peg is optional.) TELEMARKETER: “Hello Mr. Leu. What would you say to an offer of 7 nights in Phuket, the beautiful jewel of Thailand, for … Continue reading

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Pranks #2, #6, and #30

#2. “Another telemarketer calling” – Ω  Prop: Familiarise yourself with where the hash (#) button/key is on your phone keypad.  TELEMARKETER: “Hi, is that Mrs. Koruna? Good evening, I am Rasheed from Aladdin Carpet Cleaning.”  ME: Interrupt early. “Excuse me, I … Continue reading

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